Ten Complaints About Online Dating Services
Some people think it's impossible to meet a decent person online, while others swear by online dating services and will never go back to a singles bar again. Are online dating services really a waste of time? Here are ten common complaints about online dating services, and the ways to work around them.
10. "I don't know how to start a conversation online."
Be creative when writing to somebody. Write something about yourself that shows you've read their profile, mention things you have in common, and show how you're genuinely interested in them. Pretend you're talking to somebody face-to-face and ask the same questions as you would in a real life situation.
9. "I don't know what to write about myself."
This would be a good time to read our Ten Things to Know About Writing Your Online Profile article. The great thing about online dating services is that you can change your profile and photos at any time so feel free to experiment. If you're not getting many responses, try writing something radically different.
8. "Online dating is too impersonal."
Think of online dating services as a way to meet people you'd be interested in talking to in person. The idea is to get to the stage where you're talking on the phone and/or meeting in person so you can break free of the limitations of online dating.
7. "I write to people but they don't write back."
Don't take it personally. If you're a guy, chances are the woman you're writing to gets a ton of responses and yours just didn't distinguish itself enough from the rest. Even if you're attractive, she might be too busy fielding other responses to get back to you. If you're a woman, chances are the guy you're writing to is uncomfortable with a woman taking the initiative; forget him and move on!
6. "I get way too many people contacting me online!"
Let me guess: you must be a woman, probably with an attractive photo. It sounds like the problem is not that you're getting contacted by too many people, but rather that so few of them are attractive to you. If that's the case, simply ignore them and move on. Think of yourself as somebody in the Human Resources department going through a huge stack of resumes: skim them for possibilities, and reject all the rest as quickly as you can.
5. "This one person won't stop bothering me."
First, you should politely request that they stop contacting you. Next, see if your online dating service has a "block" feature; failing that, contact the online dating service and ask them to take action. As a last resort you can always change your screen name.
4. "There are too many online dating services. Which should I pick?"
The beauty of online dating is that you can use ALL the services at the same time. It's just like advertising: the more places you've put your profile, the more people will see you. Start with the free ones, and once you've gotten your feet wet you can try one of the paid services.
3. "All the people I meet online are losers; nobody is compatible with me."
Either you're super picky (in which case you won't have any better luck meeting people in a bar), or you're using the wrong dating services. In addition to the big, popular online dating services there are many niche dating services that attract loyal users.
2. "I keep getting rejected by people online."
You just need a positive attitude and be persistent. Just because people post their profiles online doesn't mean they are going to automatically be receptive to everybody's advances.
1. "It's difficult to tell what somebody is like just from their online profile."
This is probably the biggest complaint about online dating services. Not being able to see or hear somebody in person can make it difficult to determine what they're all about. You'll have to read between the lines. Is their photo attractively composed? Do they write articulately? Do they know what they want and don't want? Congratulations, you have a contender. On the other hand if their photo is poorly composed (or nonexistent), they don't write articulately or they are wishy-washy about what they want, keep looking.